Last night he was supposed to see me, but he was out with his family. I let that slide but I called him when I was on my way home and no answer, then nothing…..no call from him, no text…..then he wonders why I think things…I never forget to call him or text him…I constantly am making him aware of what i’m doing, he didn’t see me Christmas eve or Christmas day…..now its the weekend before new years and to be honest I don’t think I will see him at all …….somehow he was able to get away last year for both occasions, but I don’t know now…..I’m putting 110% in this relationship, but I feel like he’s only putting 50%….even after we talked about how I feel it all doesn’t seem to matter…

slowly detaching myself….I refuse to be crushed again…

always busy with school, work, and family life…..but when we do find time for one another, when we can escape the real world and be in each others arms, the world seems to stop, and for those hours or minutes that I’m with him, I am the happiest girl….I want nothing more but to be in love….to tell him that I love him and to be able to fall into his words when he says it back….but I can’t, The past is pushing down on my mind more than ever now and I’m scared to let myself become open and vulnerable. I did everything for my first love, from my virginity to money and everything in between, and I’m scared if I give all my self to him, that I wont be able to come back from the heart ache again. 

*deep breath*

It’s not just about sex or money with MikeRob, it’s about enjoying each other’s company……He means the world to me right now and I know that taking things slow will get us far, I just need to enjoy that laugh’s and the meaningful moments…..He means a lot to me and I know I mean a lot to him…but thats enough thoughts for tonight.

Good Night Tumblr<3

I feel like he doesn’t want to talk to me, somedays I feel like he’s not into me anymore, somedays I feel like I bother him, somedays I wonder if he’s met someone else, somedays I just sit and think so much on our relationship…… but then I take a deep breath, and step back…why can’t I just let myself have this good thing……..I just need to let myself fall again, and trust that this time, things will be different…

and I miss him so much! I didn’t realize how lonely it would be without him to talk to me at night….*sigh*

#FuckTheseLonelyNights

and I miss him so much! I didn’t realize how lonely it would be without him to talk to me at night….*sigh*

#FuckTheseLonelyNights

Time to let the loneliness set in : /

Me and my better half…..it’s nights like these where I really see why I fell for him, I have the best boyfriend in the world..11.24.11

I think I might love him….but im too scared to say it, so it will stay in my mind where it belongs……..8/24/12

We fight for stupid reasons then quickly get over them! He’s seriously a great guy!! Idk what I would do without him!! ^__^

#GottaTellTheWorld!

I had the best SEX of my life today….it’s all about me when we are in the bed room!!!

#Spoiled!!! :D